I recently saw the sentence below written somewhere (attribution unknown) and realised that I’ve since been using it as a lens for reflecting on conversations, the news, and TV shows.
The Cambridge Dictionary describes bigotry (noun) as having strong, unreasonable ideas, especially about race or religion. While I Googled that arsenic has no smell, taste or colour, it’d be the last-ditch, aggressive effort of my life to find out for sure. While you’d hopefully counsel me not to take arsenic, we seem hell-bent as a species on continuing our descent into terminal ways of attempting to resolve ‘opinionated’ conflicts through the aggressive equivalents of tasting arsenic.
But the challenge is, who is the judge of what is unreasonable? Do you look outside yourself, or do you look inward?
Blind Men and the Elephant
Are you familiar with the story of a group of blind men who have never come across an elephant before? Each blind man is led up to a different part of the animal's body, but only one part each, such as the side or the tusk. As they make sense of their part of the elephant, there are at least two possibilities for moving forward.
1.Try to convince the others that you know what an elephant is. After all, you’ve got direct experience; you are touching one! In fact, you can’t understand why someone else describes the elephant so wrong. It is like a rope, not a tree truck.
What is wrong with them? You spend meeting after meeting trying to convince the others. You align yourself with people who agree with you. Others align themselves with people who agree with them. Things get heated!
2. Be open to others' experiences of something even as tangible as an elephant. Hopefully, they see it from a different perspective. Perhaps there is something here for you to learn. How can we make more sense of an elephant by combining our experiences?
Things get much better when we deliberately look at something through different lenses – collaboration is a key skill for leaders when facing complexity.
Bigotry/Gaslighting?
Bigotry, an intolerance towards others' differences, often manifests as discrimination whereas gaslighting is psychological manipulation that makes someone doubt their reality. While distinct, they can intersect, especially in discriminatory contexts.
For example, a victim of workplace bigotry might be gaslighted into questioning their experience, being told their perception of discrimination is a misunderstanding. This not only invalidates genuine concerns but also perpetuates harm, undermining equality and respect in professional environments.
Addressing inequality and bigotry involves recognising where we and others are in our developmental journey. Encouraging self-reflection, empathy, and open-mindedness are key. Creating environments that foster development towards later developmental stages of maturity can be beneficial. This involves promoting complex thinking, empathy, and an appreciation for diverse perspectives.
The Righteous Mind Gets in the Way
In "The Righteous Mind," Jonathan Haidt explores the emotional basis of our moral judgments. He posits that morality is driven more by intuition than reason and encompasses broader concerns beyond fairness and harm. Haidt explains that morality both unites and divides us, as it aligns us with certain groups but blinds us to others' perspectives. This explains why rational debates on moral issues in politics and religion often lead to polarisation, as people are influenced more by their moral instincts than logical arguments.
Next Steps
Robert Kegan's adult development theory offers a lens to understand how individuals' perceptions and attitudes towards others can evolve. Kegan outlines five stages of development, from impulsive to self-transforming mind. Understanding these stages helps in realising that views held in earlier stages (where one's perspective is more egocentric or ethnocentric) can contribute to bigoted attitudes. As individuals progress, they develop a more inclusive and integrated understanding of others, which can help in overcoming bigotry. Jennifer Garvey Berger provides a short, easy-to-read introduction to adult development. Download a copy here.
Overcoming bigotry is not just about changing opinions; it's about developmental growth. As individuals and communities evolve in their understanding and empathy, we can hope to see a reduction in bigoted attitudes. This journey is crucial for building a more inclusive and harmonious society.
If you are interested in discussing how to support the developmental growth of your team, book a complimentary 30-minute exploratory conversation with Dr Desley Lodwick.
Schedule a free 30-minute exploratory discussion with Desley Lodwick here.
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