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Leaves Shadow

What to Do When Empathy is Hard



Sometimes, at work, have you got caught up in a difficult situation where some brain cells (your grown-up bits) say, “Try to see this from their point of view”? But try as you might, it’s hard! But at least you recognise, "Houston, we have a problem.”


It’s easier to have empathy for people who are just like us. We know them. They look like us, sound like us; they are familiar. However, for far too many of us, and for too many times, it’s hard to empathise with people we don’t recognise, and the usual clues don’t help. We revert to the ancient nervous system response that took care of us and ultimately determined whether we lived or died when we belonged to a tribe. The thinking that protected us was, “If you are not like me, then you’re against me, and I need to be wary, if not afraid of you.”


In these situations, being prepared by thinking about what you might do beforehand can make a difference and prevent problems from worsening. Having a ‘recipe’ for moving forward is like having a “get out of jail” card.





Quotes


Here are five insightful quotes that encapsulate various facets of empathy, from its role in human connection and understanding to the challenges that often accompany its practice. They serve as reminders of the transformative power of empathy in both personal and broader social contexts.


1. Brené Brown: "Empathy has no script. There is no right way or wrong way to do it. It’s simply listening, holding space, withholding judgment, emotionally connecting, and communicating that incredibly healing message of 'You're not alone.'"


2. Meryl Streep: "The great gift of human beings is that we have the power of empathy, we can all sense a mysterious connection to each other."


3. Atticus Finch (from Harper Lee’s 'To Kill a Mockingbird'): "You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view... Until you climb inside of his skin and walk around in it."


4. Maya Angelou: "I think we all have empathy. We may not have enough courage to display it."


5. Barack Obama: "The biggest deficit that we have in our society and in the world right now is an empathy deficit. We are in great need of people being able to stand in somebody else's shoes and see the world through their eyes."



Next Steps


If you are a leader or coach of a leader, feel free to schedule a complimentary 30-minute conversation about empathy or whatever else is on your mind.



 

Schedule a free 30-minute exploratory discussion with Desley Lodwick here.


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